Thursday, 9 October 2014

Dentists and Phobias

Today the day has come. I had my dentist appointment. The last time I went to a dentist was in March last year. The ones who know me will know that I have a phobia if it comes to dentists. I don't even have to be there, just thinking that one day I will need to go there, even for a check up, makes me freak out. It is my biggest fear and it is just horrible. But at least it was a very big step for me that I booked the appointment myself two weeks ago. Usually my mum used to do this and tell me a day before. So I decided to be strong and to keep my teeth pretty and booked the appointment for the check up.
And I just didn't think about it during the next few days until yesterday. And last night I just totally couldn't fall asleep. I was so hot that I opened the windows, even though Eryk said it was cold and he is normally the one that is too hot at night to sleep. And I was just laying in bed with Eryk sitting next to me watching some things on Youtube, and I just couldn't fall asleep. I can't even remember when I finally did, but it was late. Now in the morning I woke up at seven and felt a bit uncomfortable about this situation even though I had my appointment booked for 10:20 this morning. Still, I had to leave the house at eight and to sort out something else and then I was on my way to the dentist. I have never been there before so I had no idea where it was, which also totally stressed me because somehow I really wanted to go, which is crazy, but yes, I wanted to even though it made me feel sick. But I managed to find it and I was ten minutes early so I filled in a form with details about myself and then it was my turn already. And I have to say that when I stepped into the room I couldn't even say a word and I nearly started crying but the dentist said "First thing, you are not allowed to be nervous. We are not going to do anything, just have a look at your teeth and discuss what we will do next." And I somehow sat down and let him do his job and he kept telling me after nearly each tooth how it looked like and if something needs to be done there and so on. And that's what really makes me a bit more relaxed if I know what dentists do. So after some minutes he just told me that I'd get two small fillings in my back teeth and three teeth will be cleaned from dark bits and sealed with a UV lamp, and I had this done ages ago and at least I know that this really won't hurt. And then there is also a thing with one of my bigger teeth as my jaws are too small and the tooth just moved behind the line where it should grow. And it is still touching the "neighbour tooth" and there is no space at all between them and once cavities will happen there, it will be difficult to remove it again. So he suggested to remove this tooth as I wouldn't even need any braces and you won't be able to see a gap because there is obviously no gap any more because the neighbour teeth nearly joined already.
But he said that this is of course my own decision but if it was his tooth he'd do this. And now, it may seem crazy, but somehow I feel like maybe this will be better than having bigger problems with more teeth involved later on. I am not too sure if I really want to have a tooth removed but there is no space for it any ways and if my wisdom teeth came out it would be a horrible mess. And he said that of course I'd get everything done with injections and that I won't feel anything so I shouldn't be scared at all. And I somehow would do what he recommended because he obviously is the pro here and I am the first person that wants to avoid problems concerning teeth. But there is also the thought of a big hole left in my mouth. And it will take some time until it will disappear. So I am not ready yet but maybe within some weeks I will finally be able to decide what I'd like to do.

And that was it, he also told me that my teeth are pretty( even though I thought they are really not straight and stuff) and he said that I wouldn't need braces in his opinion because they are expensive and my teeth are nice the way they are now. He said that of course I could have braces later on if I really wanted them, so we'll see with time.

This was everything that happened at the dentist today and I got two appointments for 25 minutes each to get the five teeth done over the next month and I should be fine.

Well, so after that I went to M&S food, Superdrug and Scotmid to buy some things that we needed and I also went to the bakery and got some fudge doughnuts for me and Eryk. I didn't go to College as I was mentally too exhausted (I know this may seem crazy to some of you, but with a phobia it really is like that).
I then also filmed another video that I will maybe edit tomorrow if I get the weekly vlog done quickly. And then I had a nap with Maya on my chest and then Eryk came upstairs to spend some cuddle time with us and now I am quickly writing this and I'll be back on my phone, having another cup of tea and eating TUC's. ;)
Look at her small tongue!

<3 The nail polish is from MUA and is called Plum Noir


-Olivia

~09.10.2014~

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